Are you reacting or living?

Are you reacting or living? | freshbysian.com

Most days after I’m finished working, I’ll jump on YouTube and catch up with some of my fave vloggers (like Casey Neistat and Ben Brown), and just chill out for a bit.

So the other day after watching some vids, I stumbled across a few YouTube channels that were literally just people reacting to stuff. The headlines read like this...

‘[Insert famous person's name here] said THIS about me. Here’s my reaction!’ 
Reacting to Antarctic Candy! OMG!’ 

I’ve seen these videos around before so it was nothing new, but for some reason that day it got me thinking more about this ‘reaction’ thing… 

How often do we just react to shit versus actively getting out and creating the life that we want?


Then it got me thinking about times in my life where I wasn’t really in control... The times where I was just a passenger in my own life, reacting to stuff that was thrown my way. 

I remember when I first lived in Sydney in 2010, and I was working a 9-5 job… All I did was live for the weekends. And even then, I would lounge around and watch Breaking Bad and be a couch bum the whole fucking time, or just go shopping and spend all of my money. Then Monday would roll around and the same pattern would just repeat… Work. Live for the weekend. Watch TV. Shop. Repeat. 

Looking back now — it was not a good time and I definitely wasn’t very happy. 

And I think in some ways I’ve been getting a little stuck in a similar pattern lately (but maybe not to those extremes)… I’m very driven and I know what I want, but I think I’ve been just waiting for stuff to happen versus actually making it happen myself — especially in my biz. I’ve been going with the flow a little too much and now I’m over it. 

There are defo times in life when all you can do is react… When you’re thrown a challenge and you just have to get through it as best you can — and sometimes that means just taking it day by day. But for the most part, we gotta get out and chase the shit we want. 


Here’s some examples of reacting vs living…

Reacting 

  • Waiting for everyone else to make a decision then just going along with it (such as travel plans)
  • Waiting for things to fall into place by themselves (such as your finances — which is something I'm def guilty of! ha)
  • Waiting for clients or customers to find you, and buy from you

Living 

  • Making decisions for yourself 
  • Making a plan and taking action on it 
  • Getting clear about who you serve, how you can help them, and then reaching out to them

You see the difference? So you can see through those few examples, there’s a lot of waiting vs making. Going with the flow vs taking action. 

To live a big, wild, crazy life, we gotta get out there and do the shit we want. We gotta chase the dreams and take action. Sure — it's scary and it's hard, but we gotta do it. 

So… Are you just reacting, or are you actively taking steps towards what you want? [Click to tweet}

 

You’re Allowed to Change Your Mind (+ Other Thoughts About Finding Your Biz Vibe)

No matter what stage you’re at in your business, sometimes shit can be really frustrating and it can be hard to know what your vibe is or where you ‘fit in’ to everything. 

It’s only really dawned on me lately that you never truly ‘arrive’ at where you want to be. Maybe it’s not about finding where you fit or trying to figure it out — it’s just about doing what feels right and sticking to your mission and knowing what you stand for. You just gotta keep making stuff and use the drive to pull you forward. You try new things, you figure out what you love and what doesn’t work for you — but in the end you just gotta keep moving.

So I thought I’d round up some thoughts I’ve had about finding your biz vibe… Here we go! 


+ Keep trying new things. And don’t be afraid to change your mind.

The only way you’ll truly find out what works for you and what doesn’t is by trying it out and seeing how it goes. 

As a recent example from my own biz, I’ve changed up the branding and positioning of my opt-in/newsletter. So back in September last year I created The Stash (a library of resources for entrepreneurs) as my main opt-in. My list has grown a massive amount since then — mostly thanks to launching The Stash — but over the last month or two the whole opt-in/bribe thing hasn’t been feeling right to me anymore. 

Yes, having a freebie opt-in works (by that I mean it grows your list and gains new subscribers). But does it feel right to me? Eh... Not so much. I also know for a fact that the people I want to attract aren’t interested in freebies or bribes — they just want real stories and no-bullshit advice. 

So I recently changed up the positioning of my newsletter to something a little different. I hired my copywriter to help me out, and I’ve re-branded it as the Standout Squad. The format is essentially exactly the same as it is now – with weekly emails, access to The Stash and other goodness — but the focus is taken off the freebies, and put onto the community/overall vibe of my brand. It feels SO much better to me already, and way more aligned with my biz. (And let’s be honest, it was fun playing around with the design for it, and I’m stoked with how it came out! 

You can’t be afraid to try things or experiment in your biz. Just go into everything with an open mind and see what feels good to you, and remember that you’re allowed to change your mind. [Click to tweet]

What works for you now might not work for you in 12 months, and that’s totally cool.


 

Wanna get amongst the Standout Squad action? Click the image below + get after it.

 

+ Find your squad. 

The people you surround yourself with can make a huuuuge impact on how you approach your biz (and your life), so it's important to attract people into your life that inspire you, push you to think differently, and remind you to have fun.

There’s that quote — ‘A rising tide lifts all boats’, and I’m personally really starting to see the truth in that when it comes to who you have in your life. I’m so stoked to have a handful of badass go-getting people around the world that inspire me and challenge me and inspire me on the reg — we all have a similar approach to the kind of vibe we want to craft, and I don’t know what I’d do without ‘em.

I think the easiest way to connect with peeps is just to let it happen naturally. Just keep it real and write about what you believe in, and when you see other people that are on the same wavelength as you, just hit them up to say Hi — with no pressure or expectations. Just keep an open mind and see if it feels like a natural connection. 


+ Keep it pointed to where you wanna go. 

This can be one of the hardest things to keep in mind... You get lost in the work or the zone and you can very easily lose track of WHY you're in this. 

Check out this post I wrote a while back about keeping the dream alive. 


+ Have some integrity. 

Know what you stand for, and stick to your values. I think this is a huge part of business that isn’t talked about enough, and it also says a hell of a lot about who you are as a person. 

Unfortunately I’ve been hearing one too many stories lately about (very well known) entrepreneurs who preach one thing to the world, but yet behind the scenes it's a completely different, not-so-truthful story. I've heard about team members being shown little to no respect, numbers and statistics being inflated... The list goes on. It's not great stuff to hear to be honest, and it has made me lose a hell of a lot of respect for these brands. 

Do the right thing because it's the right thing to do. Don't fuck people over. Do what you say you're going to do. [Click to tweet]


hose are just a few of my thoughts about finding your biz vibe! What's something you've learned recently about finding your place in business? 

Stop Expecting People to Care

Stop Expecting People to Care | freshbysian.com

You've been working away on your new website and brand for months and months.

You've poured your heart and soul into this thing and you're over the moon to launch it to the world.

And you do... Launch day arrives. You launch that shit out into the world.

But... You don't get the response you were hoping for. Your friends or family don't give you the kudos you were expecting. You feel kinda sad and let down, and it puts a downer vibe on the whole launch.


Ever been in a situation like this where the lack of stoke + excitement from your peeps has let you down?

I think at some stage, all of us have. And let's be honest — it's pretty shitty.

I know that its going to suck when some people just aren't as stoked for you as you thought they would be... And that's just life I guess. But for the most part -- we have to learn to control our expectations and the 'stuff' we put onto other people.

Through my business launching multiple products and websites, I've learnt a thing or two about managing expectations when it comes to launching or sharing exciting news. I had to learn this lesson the hard way again earlier this year, cause hey — we're all human, right?

But the thing is, you can't expect people to care about what you do in your life. [Click to Tweet]

The minute you start putting those expectations on other people, you're risking your relationship with them, and also just your own happiness.

You have to be more stoked about what you're creating or doing than anyone else. And you also have to know who you can talk to about certain things in your life, and be selective about what dreams or triumphs you share.

And the best thing that happens when you can take those expectations off other people, and be totally responsible for your own feelings? Your relationships with people improve, and you learn to be more independent.

So...

Maybe it means you can't talk to your close family about your business.

Maybe it means there's certain friends you can't share your travel experiences with.

At the end of the day YOU have to be responsible for your own happiness and success. Stop expecting people to care. [Click to Tweet]